1, 2, 3, Go! That’s what I was told by a child on how to get started on a difficult task. For me that task is writing. When I began meditating almost 10 years ago, a recurring image would pop in my head of a piece of paper with words written on it. At the time my gut said “you should write.” But about what, I had no clue. I cannot bear to think of the number of books I have started and left hanging helplessly out there in digital land. Where do some of them reside now? Your guess is as good as mine.
I chalked this urge to write up to meaning maybe I should go back to school and so I did. Be careful what you wish for? OMG, I got my feel of writing in Grad school, but nothing that soothed my soul. What I got was life sucking hours and hours of writing scientific, technical, theory themed essays and research papers I am almost positive drowned my creativity reference by reference. Where is the proof? Whose theory is this? Add more references. What about the Mexicans? Ugh! (That last bit is in no way racist but an inside joke between a fellow student and me concerning a Professor’s constant reprimands on ethical inclusion of all cultures.)
I work in a field where I blurt out scientific facts left and right. On occasion, I hear my own muffled voice as my imagination looks over my shoulder and says “Who the Hell said that? That’s brilliant. AHA!” I have always had deep thoughts. Even as a child, I recall sitting by a campfire for hours on end or watching the rain and doing nothing but thinking. My girlfriends and I used to drive out on a dirt road and watch the stars above, (drinking a $1 bottle of Strawberry Hill no doubt) and simply think. Sometimes I discover someone brilliant already said or thought it, but sometimes not. I am tired of following rules, quoting science, filtering every thought while making sure I give credit where credit is due. It scares the bejeezus out of me to put it out there exposing my mind to be ridiculed. However, at 40 years young, I refuse to be wrangled by fear of anything one second more.
I have a goal list a mile long. This year has been by far one of my best at getting started on some of those goals—scuba diving, competing in races, learning Spanish, teaching myself to play my pink guitar, and now writing. Someone once said (and I’ll be damned if I am going to look up who, in fact I am not even going to put it in quotes!)… to be an artist all you need to do is paint, and to be a writer all you need to do is write. I really yearn to finish one of my books so this blog is an attempt to get me moving in that direction. No rules, no set schedule, just writing what I think when I think it. I am certain some of my thoughts will be someone else’s and I am in no way above quoting, but for once in my life I would like to just speak candidly about what ruminates in my head, rustles in my gut and resonates in my soul. This is the unedited version….. 1, 2, 3, Go! ~ Juls ♥