They Come. They Take. They Leave.

peru3Mystical Peru. It is full of intriguing people sharing ancient rituals for healing. I am in awe of those who work to preserve naturalistic ancestral magic even though our brain run society won’t allow us to believe it. Most of these procedures have had little to no scientific validity.

However, numerous case studies of people finding peace and ease in Shamanic ceremonies cannot be ignored. Research is beginning to prove these powerful remedies but our ancestors did not need proof. They just knew intuitively.

I myself, a “formally” trained therapist, have undergone treatment by Shaman to heal emotional pain and patterns of behavior that therapies I was schooled in could not come close to clearing.

So by my fourth trip to Peru, I go. I go almost every time despite minds stutters when my heart feels the curious flutter. I go for my heart. I go for my soul. I go to hear what others educated in ancient ways can tell me to ease this life I lead. And I go so I can share with you these gifts their souls intuitively sing.

They said she was powerful. They said she was spot on. They said she could tell you things to make you understand and help you on your journey.

I hopped in the cab with new friends to the rickety little village where a woman with powers only whispered in intimate groups would read my coca leaves.  The ancient ritual has been used for thousands of years by those called in Shamanic cultures to help people move forward.

A taxi ride took us to the dusty remains of a town attempting to stay alive. Dropped on the steps leading down a man-made cave of concrete dripping plumbing leaks like art, we made our way to the tattered bench to wait our fate.

One by one my friends returned gushing stories so true their hair stood on end. Lightning moments of knowing what to do— next steps, love coming, love right in front of their face, peace and knowing… There was ease. They all were glowing.

I waited my turn for the big AHA moment I’m now sure my reading would grant me.

The aroma coming from the room where she sat looking exhausted smelled slightly unpleasant. Burning ash of hope seeped around her. This is what she does. Day in and day out, she sees lost souls who’ve sought her comforting words in hopes of finding their way home.

She seems stern. Asking limited questions—my birthday, birth town—which I think “why?”. She has no clue of the West Texas town I sputtered. She has probably never left Peru. Her English is limited. I crush my denial of her power by telling myself to trust this is all she needs to know. I let go.

That was it. Two questions and I wait for what she sees in my leaves.

“THEY COME. THEY TAKE. THEY LEAVE.” That’s what this magical mystical lady had to say with the drop of my coca leaves. The paired words hurt like dull scissors piercing my heart with the sharp truth she knew.


The harshness cut deep beyond her first words “NO LOVE” that had already caused my heart to bleed. “NO LOVE” she said to me as she dropped and studied my leaves.

She knew nothing of me. My birthday and birthplace were all she asked of me. Then I blew my hesitant breath as instructed 3 times on the coca leaves. She dropped the leaves and somehow read my reality!


Heart-sunk and saddened to share my pity. I left in the taxi unwilling to talk about the thing my life was making me feel when reality is placed in front of me.

This is not what I wanted to hear. I did not want to feel more pain for the life I have been trying so damn hard to properly lead.

WAIT! And there it was. Dust lifting, my friend in the back seat patting my hand knowing, while my eyes focused on the mountain scene approaching… and all of a sudden, I got it.

She was not reading my future. She was reading my now. And if something in this moment is not everything I could ever want and more then why in Goddess name would I be living in a now not fulfilling me?

Why would anyone get upset when the truth is said out loud?
There is no reason other than you do not like the truth.
You do not like reality.
You do not like your now.

Here I am, author of a book on my struggle for true love with or without a man to hold me up, yet the truth of being single stings like a wound I can’t frk’n heal enough. While others to this day, still see this choice I made as flawed. And apparently I still think it is or else I might have agreed and gently said, “YES, that’s right. You got it. Thanks for understanding my life.”


I pride myself on being able to twist perspective to see the good in all.


How can any of that be seen positively? Twelve disciples including Mathew, Mark, Luke and John in my memoir, THE YEAR OF THE FROG—all of them did just what she saw. She knew this not by reading my non-biblical life story, but by reading my coca leaves!

I don’t want to change my future. I do not live there. Never have. Never will. Although I spent decades caught in a time traveling mindset—mentally depressed in the past or zapped to the future by worry.


I am trying so hard to live in the now. If something in that now of truth is causing me unease then I do not want to change my future. I want to change my now. And I have the capacity to do so this instant by being here fully in the truth of reality, even when it stings.

If I no longer want to be the victim of taking and leaving then I better stop allowing the takers and leavers in only to waste my energy trying to change them.

The old me spent years trying to change them and when that did not work, more years trying to change me. For what?

To change a reality I was not even living.



I do not have to choose to give my life to things not reciprocating. THEY COME. THEY TAKE. THEY LEAVE—will no longer be my reality. If that truth stings deep down in you too, then I implore you to consider taking a good hard look at how you perceive your now.

This is the way I perceived my now. I closed my heart based on the ignorant perception I deserved nothing more now because healing need be. We have been fooled into believing we are broken. I had a wonderful Shaman tell me, “You will seek the medicine until you realize there’s nothing needing healing”.

I focused all my energy on “changing”  for a future of peace we all chase but never reach. I was a time-travelling gypsy. 

Making decisions based on past pain means belief of the past needs clearing. It needs clearing because belief makes it the way it was, the way it will always be.

Belief keeps you out of your now where everything has novel divine engineering. It means we still carry belief codes keeping us locked in the way it was. Likewise, making decisions based on future worry means we carry belief codes fearing what could be.

Like me you may be feeling you do not know which way to go. That is because we are moving away from a culture of mind by making decisions now based on heart not thought. Heart does not know. It feels.

Repetitive thoughts become beliefs. Some 90% of thoughts are negative and the same as yesterday. Thoughts are not present energy. Beliefs are not present energy. How can past energy help us have a better now? It can’t. It only repeats so the outcome is the same creating havoc by reinforcing those old beliefs.

Living from the heart means you will not “know” which way to go. But if you follow your soul, you will intuitively feel the way home.

If you want to be healed then heal. Do it today by facing your truth so you can live where love and miracles occur rewarding you for being here instead of there.

My heart was still holding negative energy that simply needed MY love to expand with more compassion for me. And giving yourself that love can begin instantly. Clear your heart of all negative energy.

Do it NOW by understanding that pain and worry simply mean there are things we are misinterpreting. It is only in this now we are truly living. Clean your heart space completely so the biggest love coming has room to stay in ease. Breathe.

This is really what self love means. It is not about loving the best parts of the human vehicle your soul is driving. It is not even about loving the best memories this vehicle has allowed you to make. It is about loving the dents, scrapes and trips you took that crashed, burned and hurt.  My heart was closed because it needed to be while I focused on teaching me to let go of past and future to live in the NOW with love for all this moment brings.


A big open heart can break. It’s a huge risk. But it’s a risk I think we are all willing to take. We have taken. We are here to take! The miracle of love is that despite the hurt, we still love.


An open heart acts like a vacuum sucking miracles in. Miracles are occurring all around us now but they can only be seen by those who breathe in the now. Breathe.

This is the year of the heart. This is the year of love.
Take the risk. Speak your truth. Live your truth. Face the hurts. Love the hurts. Then face your divinity! Step into the unknown bliss of NOW by making decisions like a healed soul would.

How will life look when all is healed? What will happen when love reciprocates instead of takes? How will you behave when bliss is yours every day?


The way we love ourselves is mirrored in how our relationships work or don’t. Love yourself by loving the tough stuff first. Heal it by accepting it and honoring the scars that old war caused. End the war. Peace is ours. Today we fight love no more.


Emotions are energy. Love is the most fantastic emotional energy worth feeling. When we face the truth of our NOW with compassion, we give love to our own soul for being in the vehicle taking us places to teach us just this. To fully love another the energy must be fully charged by our own love first.


Love yourself both dark and light. When we can all learn to love the dark parts just as much, if not more than the light, we will get to experience what true love feels like.

Breathe in the now.
Stay here I implore. Find a way to love your now even if it means loving your sore heart like you would your best friend’s wounded scars.


Yes, that’s it. Thanks for understanding my journey. It is okay, because I took it upon myself to make those words, those experiences past tense. That means they no longer exist. And I am the one leaving. I am leaving that shit back there while I stay here. My love ability is still here. It does not go away from me when they leave. It expands with the knowledge of how to love me better in the face of adversity.

We can stop all wars by ending the one inside. That war is taking you away from the love of your life. Give yourself the love you deserve and it will be matched by the Universe. You can feel the love your very own heart makes. True Love is here in this NOW wrapped in abundance sweetly hugging peace. COME. STAY. RECEIVE. ~ Juls

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julssJuls lives in Costa Rica where she finds her inspiration in nature. She is the author of her award winning memoir, The Year of The Frog, a very adult fairy tale come true about her own journey seeking love.

Her newest book to be published soon, PachaMama Prattle is her most creative endeavor combining her love of nature, meditation, poetry and art.

Find her author works on Amazon under her pen name “Juls Amor”, a name she chose to honor her soul and her Mother’s maiden name “Love”.

Juls writes blogs dedicated to promoting healthy love and peace.
Listen to her podcast on podbean while it is still free.
Watch her LIVE on PeriscopeTV
Find her on Facebook under Juls Amor.

I’m self-published. Like reading me? Click the tip jar to buy me a drink. 🙂

Juls Amor AKA JulieBray


2 thoughts on “They Come. They Take. They Leave.

  1. Dear gifted n wise UNIVERSAL SCRIBE…I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR TRUTH, YOUR POETIC PROSE,YOUR AUTHENTICITY,YOUR COURAGE, N YOUR RESOLVE TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR HERE AND NOW!!!! I too strive to love n embrace all of me,both my vehicle in conjunction with my gifted loving soul! I honor both the darkest parts of me as well as the immense light that’s been with me through eternity! My rearview mirror is merely in place to glance occasional at and then celebrate all of the great hills i have climbed and all the deep valleys I have weathered…NAMASTE OH GIFTED ONE…YES i say namaste….love barb

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh honey thank you kindly. Keep on climbing. We got this. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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