I Love.

My Memoir, The Year of the Frog, is in short, a therapist story of applying her own therapy to herself. It is under the self-help category but it is my self-help story. The fact it is helping others is an awesome indication of a deeper connection.

As a therapist my goal was to develop a relationship strong enough to prove I could handle my clients hard truths. It was imperative I not judge and only love. It is my belief you can’t do both. I love.

Sometimes it took years before a client felt comfortable enough to tell me things that really burned. But it was in that fiery instance the smoke cleared. Those hard truths, the painful pieces, are the pieces that put the puzzle together. 

So I did just that. I wrote my own story to myself, in biblical form no doubt, to piece together the puzzle of my life and once and for all end my strife. 

I called the book The Year of the Frog because one of the themes that kept popping up for me was the idea that I had to “kiss a lot of frogs” to find true love.

At the end of the book in my appropriately named “Revelations” chapter under the subtitle “Love” you can find this love letter to all the frogs I ever kissed who taught me about the love I missed.

Dear Frogs,
I wanted to love you all but you blocked my love saying you are not good enough, somehow putting me on a pedestal you could not reach. We were drawn together because I too did not feel good enough. Listen up. Just as I believe you are a reflection of me, I am a reflection of you. You can achieve, you have more power than you can conceive. You can be good enough, but first you must be good enough for you. Be good enough!
I loved you all, at least to the level of love I myself had known. In that moment it was the greatest love I had been shown. To love you is to see you are me given all you’ve been through and I am you wearing the combination of variables I was exposed to. I loved and I cared and I hurt when it ended because that is what I do. I fall hard and fast and I always hope it lasts.
You do not have to be anything on my list of qualities I seek for me but come with your own set of abilities so I can learn about you while learning about me. I do not want you to vow your life to me or claim till death do us part.  I only ask you share the choices you make and give me the freedom to decide if I want to stay.
Commit to your own authenticity. You be fully you—brave with honesty, sharing with love so I can decide if you help me evolve. I do not need a second chance and neither do you. It is a cop out to say you are not good enough. It is a way to escape your own potential to keep from having to evolve. One day you will find yourself in love with the soul underneath the programming and see you were always good enough.
To be in true love is to see the soul whether it be another or your own. All the good. It is why we seek to be seen. It is a state of bliss more powerful than the greatest love we’ve known. It is where we came from, it is where we will go. To be in love is the closest thing on earth to heaven we can know. I can look at you and fall in love because I see you; I see the good of your soul. Should my love not reciprocate I have learned to let go. I trust that the world has better plans for me I cannot yet see. There is a love seeking me so vivaciously all I need to do is breathe.
I leave you with a word of warning! I have been told I cannot separate sex from love. This is true.  For some time I tried. But no more will I strive to be something I am not. I am love. I know the good that dwells within you and I love it all. I do not know how to kiss you and not, nor how to touch you and not feel touched. And I do not know how to make love to you and not love you.
So on this day I vow to stop trying to not. I vow to love in all I do whether it be friending you, helping you, touching you, cooking for you or making love to you. Guess what? It is a relationship. I fall in love in everything I do.  It is too much effort to try not to. It is a lie to not be myself.  If you do not want to be loved then you better not walk this path with me, not even for a brief moment because this is the path to love, step on it and fall the fall or do not get on at all. ~ Juls

path

 

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julssJuls lives in Costa Rica where she finds her inspiration in nature. She is the author of her award winning memoir, The Year of The Frog, a very adult fairy tale come true about her own journey seeking love.

Her newest book to be published soon, PachaMama Prattle is her most creative endeavor combining her love of nature, meditation, poetry and art.

Find her author works on Amazon under her pen name “Juls Amor”, a name she chose to honor her soul and her Mother’s maiden name “Love”.

Juls writes blogs dedicated to promoting healthy love and peace.
Listen to her podcast on podbean while it is still free.
Watch her LIVE on PeriscopeTV
Find her on Facebook under Juls Amor.
Blogs: www.JulsAmor.com
Email: JulsAmor@yahoo.com

I’m self-published. Like reading me? Click the tip jar to buy me a drink. 🙂

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Juls Amor AKA JulieBray

 

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